FRESH MEAT

Late Friday night downtown I got asked by a stranger if I could point him in the direction of Williston Road. “Are you sure that’s where the party you’re looking for is?” I ask, trying to be helpful to this poor, delusional boy. “Um yeah, I think I can read. It’s down this way bro” he replies, as he continues walking towards Church Street.

Here at UVM, there is only one thing that everyone can agree on. No matter where you’re from, who your favorite band is, or what kind of drugs you’re doing (or not doing) on your Tuesday night, we can all agree that there is nothing more painful than watching UVM first years make their way around what the rest of us know as home. They all awkwardly walk around campus/Burlington/our Res halls not having any sort of idea where they’re going. They all think that they’re fitting in well, but that’s definitely not the case. Not at all. They stick out like sore thumbs and instead of being the responsible, kind upperclassmen we should be, we laugh instead. Because it’s friggin’ funny.

The first day of classes it’s kind of annoying because they’re just in my way but the first weekend here is my faaaaaavorite. They run around like chickens with their heads cut off, traveling in packs, almost always going to hockey house or rugby house, with all 80 of their new best friends. Stopping and asking strangers to directions to streets they’re already standing on and lots of naked sloppy girls grouped up with boys who are hoping to get some by the end of the night. Anyone who was downtown this weekend can attest to this. Now we can only pray that they rid of their ways and adapt to the super chill environment us upperclassmen have established here at UVM ~