Kornbread pt. 2

In case you're not really sure who/what I'm talking about...

Kornbread

The law has finally caught up to Kornbread….

UVM Police got a phone call from a student in front of Wills who said he was being harassed by none other than Kevin Martin, a.k.a Kornbread. After interviewing the student, Police Services decided that they should criminally charge Kornbread with disorderly conduct.

About damn time.

Kornbread scares the living crap out of me and I don’t understand how he roams around Burlington acting so recklessly. One of the first years on my floor was literally terrified for his life earlier this year when Kornbread began randomly harassing him. He was standing out behind Mason when he started hollering obscenities at this poor boy. It startled him but he didn’t start worrying until Kornbread started throwing things at his window yelling “I’M COMIN FOR YA!!!!!” Since the first year was clueless (read more here) as to who Kornbread was, he was so confused and thought he did something wrong. He then proceeded to lock his door and hide under his covers for the rest of the night.

Another one of my friends told me about the time they watched him bash in their back shield window because he thought it belonged to someone else. When they corrected him his only reply was “Oh shit my fault” and then he walked away.

The Cynic is the one who reported on this and they interviewed one student who said “Maybe instead of calling campus police in reaction to someone we do not understand, we should just say hello.” Orrrrrrrrrrrrrr we can just not wait to see what he does when he gets angry and call the police. Idk. Your call.

Maybe he is a friendly neighborhood friend, but his track record proves otherwise. Maybe one day I’ll meet him and he’ll change my mind. Maybe one day I’ll meet him and he’ll proceed to shout out vulgar things at me who knows. 

Another Utopia

Grand Technology

Another Utopia

The End of the World: Misdirected

Heroin dealer's plan gets Cracked

THIS JUST IN: UVM is the USA's new drug trafficking hot-spot! I kid you not.

Last week I went down to the Chittenden County District Court to watch some trials on a Tuesday afternoon (I'm cool like that) and there was a guy from New York being tried for two counts of heroin possession and for bringing heroin into the state of Vermont. He was also on trial for cocaine possession, but this was unconfirmed.

The trial was interesting enough and the judge handed out some jail time to this guy, however what really interested me was his testimony about bringing the drugs into Vermont. Firstly, he came on the megabus. And apparently him and his pals do this trip quite often. Then, he hid the heroin UNDER A BUSH on the UVM green for 2 days. And it was still there when he came back for it. And he's done this before. WHAT

Anyway, it seems the guy made a complete hash of this, as the cops soon caught up with him.

So kids, the moral of the story is, if you go rummaging around under bushes around UVM, you're likely to find drugs! No, that's not the moral at all (he got 18 months jail time); I'm not giving you a line to take.

Listen to your Uncle Billy, kids: Don't buy drugs...

Become a pop star and they give them to you for FREE!

...or just dig around the UVM campus. Either one.

BALLIN' at BARS in Burly

I'm going to start by saying: if you're under 21, you're not going to like my post. Freshman, return to your secret stashes of alcohol; this is a post about bars. Sorry.

I have to say, there's one blog at the moment I'm loving - and my teacher's not making me say that. Broke and Ballin' in Burly is a blog written by some classmates of mine for students at UVM about things to do that don't cost a dollar! (or cost less dollars than what you were going to spend)
Not only is it good for finding cheap eats and drinks, I'm actually finding some good recommendations on places to go and things to do in Burlington, something that could be helpful to all UVM students - get out of your dorms and do something fun! (Yes, I'm talking to you, lonely kids in my building who think you have waaaaay too much work. You don't.)

All the posts on this blog are awesome but a big congrats to Amory Yossarian - your posts are awesome and 'Drink your way out of the Mondays' was the perfect post for me yesterday. This post talks about drink specials in downtown Burlington on a Monday night (hello, $2 Switchbacks) at Drink. What a great way to ruin my usual sentiments about this day of the week! I'm trying not to sound too much like an alcoholic right now (but let's face it, it's college); but whoever decided that Monday should be the day to stay in was horribly mistaken. If there's any day most people need a pick-me-up, it's Monday. My history professor yesterday told us it was "only 4 days 'til the weekend!" so I know I'm not alone on this one.

So, continuing on from this, the next furthest day from the weekend is Tuesday. I'm going to add a little recommendation here: $1 pints at Manhattans on Tuesday nights. In Australia the least you pay for a pint of beer would have to be $4 (okay, it's Australia) so $1 is almost inconceivable! I was going to go tonight but due to the weather I'm forced to stay indoors and (gasp!) do some work. Either way, props to the guys writing Broke and Ballin' - I'm loving your stuff! And I promise I'm not an alcoholic, although with hopes of being a lawyer one day, I'm probably not far off. Lucky I've started researching daily drink specials now ~

Lions & Tigers & Bears Oh My!

“At approximately 1:30am on Wednesday morning 9/12/12 a student walking in the area of Davis Road on the south end of Coolidge Hall observed a bear near the dumpster in that area.  The bear was seen headed south toward the soccer fields. UVM Police Responded to the area but were unable to locate.”

A bear. A fucking bear was on campus, giving no shits that he wasn’t supposed to be there. To some people having a bear in your back yard is normal, but to others this is big news.  I don’t understand why this is such a casual thing to the officials of UVM. Small fire in cook results in emails, phone calls, voicemails and text messages saying FIRE FIRE FIRE IN COOK EVERYONE THERE IS A FUCKING FIRE IN COOK. IT IS UNDER CONTROL, BUT WE JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY, YOU KNOW, IN CASE THE FIRE TRUCKS AND PANICKED PEOPLE DON’T ALARM YOU. And then there is a bear, chillin on campus, and we get a casual email about it. Man eating creature literally outside the window, and people are emailed a list of do’s and don’ts.

Please do not charge the bear.

Please do not play with the bear’s baby.

Please do not make fun of the bear.

Thanks for the advice I guess? Anyway, I hope everyone’s weekend is going well. And if you’re going out tonight beware of muggers by the Catholic Center and bears hangin outside by Sputies. #BurlingtonProblems

It's week 3 and I'm coming down with something...

I think they call it 'realization'; and mine's about school work.

As my professors keep reminding me, it's week 3, and that means shits gettin' real. I've already had two pop quizzes and two reports due, and I'm having my first exam next week. I'm starting to feel a whole lot like this (behind after two weeks of school). I'm wondering where last weekend went... I think it's stuck somewhere between  8-9 September, which doesn't help.

Another problem is that, being an exchange student, I have until this point treated this opportunity as a bit of a vacation (AND cultural education), hoping that somehow the university gods would look down on me favorably and let me pass all my subjects with minimal work and mediocre attendance. I think reality has sunk in now...

As you can see, the unavoidable reality of having to do work coupled with my current lack of motivation has led me to coping by looking up amazing blogs (I highly recommend you check out both the ones I linked above, they are absolutely hilarious); and planning various trips around the US and Canada (and trying to work out some convoluted way to get there and back and still have enough time to enjoy myself, whilst not missing any of my classes Monday - Friday. I could write you a report on the impossibilities).

One thing that is different about UVM to my uni at home is the amount of homework (if you ever want to have almost no work for a semester and not have to attend classes, go to Australia). I think however the one thing making me grateful for being in week 3 of classes is that at least I'm not back home, and in week 9 of classes. We still have a month until mid-terms, so... I think I'll go check out Boston! If you're feeling a little ill at the thought of getting into work, watch this video. Guaranteed to make you laugh.

Thursday Night Live @ UVM

What a great night to be at UVM - comedian Seth Meyers, host of Saturday Night Live, paid a visit to the Patrick Gymnasium (and entertained UVM students and Burlington locals while he was at it).

During his segment he covered a wide range of topics, clearly catering for college students: everything from college life and his not-so-fond memories of making out on futon couches; to sex, living abroad, Vegas and of course, the upcoming elections. Some of his most favored jokes involved the candidates in the past year (I'll admit I didn't get most of these, not being American and subjected to constant election excitement for two years); especially jokes at Mitt Romney (which I did get), and talked about his own embarrassing encounters with President Obama.

He also made fun of Vermont's hippy culture, asking 'Do we have any couples in the crowd?'
As most people didn't hear him, everyone was silent, leading Meyers to exclaim, 'What? Are you all too hippy-ish to be in a relationship? Like, we don't believe in one-on-one possession man; everyone's in a communal relationship with each other', which got a lot of laughs from the crowd; although the girl in front of me didn't look too impressed when her boyfriend cheered.

Meyers kept the crowd thoroughly entertained and rarely stepped over the funny/too-far line; excepting one joke about a man having make-up sex with his dog... (which was still funny in a so-not-really funny way).
It was very hot inside Patrick Gym and he referred to this, thanking the crowd for being so great despite the heat. It was hot but I don't think people cared too much; we got our tickets for an awesomely cheap $10 and got to laugh for an hour and watch a great comedian, something which never goes astray in the second week back at school. If you missed out - catch Meyers on SNL - you won't be disappointed.

Meyers gets 10 futons out of 10 for a great night on campus.

FRESH MEAT

Late Friday night downtown I got asked by a stranger if I could point him in the direction of Williston Road. “Are you sure that’s where the party you’re looking for is?” I ask, trying to be helpful to this poor, delusional boy. “Um yeah, I think I can read. It’s down this way bro” he replies, as he continues walking towards Church Street.

Here at UVM, there is only one thing that everyone can agree on. No matter where you’re from, who your favorite band is, or what kind of drugs you’re doing (or not doing) on your Tuesday night, we can all agree that there is nothing more painful than watching UVM first years make their way around what the rest of us know as home. They all awkwardly walk around campus/Burlington/our Res halls not having any sort of idea where they’re going. They all think that they’re fitting in well, but that’s definitely not the case. Not at all. They stick out like sore thumbs and instead of being the responsible, kind upperclassmen we should be, we laugh instead. Because it’s friggin’ funny.

The first day of classes it’s kind of annoying because they’re just in my way but the first weekend here is my faaaaaavorite. They run around like chickens with their heads cut off, traveling in packs, almost always going to hockey house or rugby house, with all 80 of their new best friends. Stopping and asking strangers to directions to streets they’re already standing on and lots of naked sloppy girls grouped up with boys who are hoping to get some by the end of the night. Anyone who was downtown this weekend can attest to this. Now we can only pray that they rid of their ways and adapt to the super chill environment us upperclassmen have established here at UVM ~

We're the Greenest!

Green is my favorite color, something which is especially awesome if you live in Vermont. In case you're living under a rock (which WOULD be very environmentally friendly); you'll know that UVM is BIG on GREEN. Everything on this campus is compostable, recyclable and bio-degradable, even the straws. UVM is forward-thinking, future oriented, and out to save the planet. And that's not all that's green around here!

Vermont has to be one of the most beautiful places in the world, the 'Green Mountain State' offering postcard worthy views and deliciously vibrant colors. From the trees to the grass to the trimming on the New England houses; Vermont is the greenest.

But I think the most popular green activity at UVM is the leafy plant which grows in the ground, and everyone's smoking it. My history professor told me that UVM is ranked 23rd on the weed-smoking list of universities in the US, but they used to be 3rd, so there's an improvement. All I can say is (coming from a university in Australia) I've never seen so many people smoking up in my life. Like I said, Vermont is green.

I was walking back to campus from downtown earlier eating chips and a girl leaned out of her car yelling at me something along the lines of... "Don't eat from a packet use the energy from the sun to power you!"

...Now that's all well and good and sure it's environmentally friendly but I don't think I'm a plant, so I'm going to need some real food. Perhaps the longer you stay at UVM the more plant-like you become? Or perhaps she's been smoking too much green stuff. Either way, I'm going to eat my environmentally friendly chips and put the bio-degradable packaging in the recycling, and then go outside and enjoy this wonderful green state.